27 Fail-Safe Ways to Start a Conversation on Tinder
With our help, sending funny and interesting DMs has never been easier, no matter your confidence level.
Illustration by Ally Hart
Getting an interesting conversation going on any dating app can be hard. How many times can you shoot benign small talk back and forth before wanting to give up hope? Using a simple “hi” as an opening line won’t break through the other noise in their messages. The best way to start up a convo is to comment directly on something featured on the person’s profile.
However, if the apple of your inbox eye doesn’t have anything that fosters good conversation, you can try out some of these messages we’ve curated. Depending on how you’re feeling, you can go for full spice or dial it down to a demur Q&A. Either way, quarantine dating is about to get spicy because these pick-up lines are bound to get the party started in those DMs. These openers know no bounds — they can work on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, or any other dating app, so take your pick or try them all.
New Tinder Member on the Block
Okay, so we’re totally here to pop your cherry (gently and consensually) with approaching people on Tinder. When I first began using ~the apps~ I was pretty awkward, which is totally okay! Maybe just don’t tell someone they remind you of Shrek even if you mean it in a hot way — because Shrek totally fucks if we’re being honest. Anyway, if you’re the new kid on the virtual block, then we suggest you keep it simple and take it slow with messages like these.
Tell me how you’re currently feeling without using any adjectives.
What color best describes your essence?
Would your life be a drama, comedy, romance, or action film?
Big spoon or little spoon? Let’s debate.
Let’s swap elevator pitches. I’ll go first!
Introductions for Introverts
If you’re not one to approach people while out on the town to ask them out, dating apps are truly your place to shine. You have the benefit of crafting your questions from the comfort of your couch without the pressure of having to be witty and glowing on the spot. If you’re an introvert, slide into your desired darling’s DMs with these simple, interesting conversation starters.
If you were casting the movie of your life, who would play you?
What was your favorite moment from this past year?
If you could read any book (or watch any movie) for the first time again, what would it be?
Any fun plans for the weekend?
What’s your favorite spot to (hike, ski, surf, run, whatever their profile indicates they do)?
Dirty, Flirty, and Thriving
If you’re looking for one thing and one thing only, don’t be ashamed to make that clear. Along with quarantine aging us about 100 years, it’s also made us lonelier and hornier. Dating apps were created for convenience, so put them to use. Just make sure to watch your tone and don’t be creepy (looking at you, Jonathan).
I want to echo Meg Thee Stallion here and ask that you “gobble me” and “swallow me.”
Let’s play strip questions. I’ll ask you questions about me. If you guess the answer correctly, I’ll lose an article of clothing. If you guess incorrectly, you lose an article of clothing.
I’ll give you two guesses. Where should we meet up? My place or yours?
I’m impossibly horny tonight and wondering if you could help a girl out.
(More season-specific, but feel free to pull this out even in the middle of May. Whatever floats your boat.) Thanksgiving is just around the corner! I’m looking to be stuffed like a turkey. Please confirm or deny if you would oblige.
Social Butterflying into the DMs
If you’re the type of person who, in the before times, went up to people in bars to unabashedly flirt with them, you should treat online dating the same way. Show those prospective partners what you’re all about upfront. If you’re an extrovert, take the Tinder-verse by storm with one of these fun openers.
Wanna play questions? You can ask me any two rapid-fire questions, and I’ll ask you two in return. If you answer them, you’ll unlock my phone number.
Charming, smart, and beautiful? I guess you can have it all! I’m [your name here].
Radical honesty. If you were a character, what would your fatal flaw be?
Fuck, marry, kill the people pictured in your profile.
I think you’re real hot. We should get a (COVID safe) drink sometime.
Let Your Freak Flag Fly
For me, one of my biggest deal breakers is when someone doesn’t understand my sense of humor. The best way to weed these suckers out is by letting them know what they’re working with upfront. Put your weirdest foot forward and let your freak flag fly with some of these messages. I even included a few extras for you.
If you got bit by a spider, I would suck the venom out of you ;)
Tell me about your emo phase. We all had one.
Let’s swap pictures of us with braces. I wanna see what that pre-puberty mouth used to do.
What are you up to Friday night? Do you want to come over and lather up with Aquaphor and pretend we’re slugs together?
I’ll be your Mary Thot Lincoln if you’ll be my BABEraham Lincoln.
Hope you don’t have dysentery, ‘cause I’m going to Oregon RAIL you later.
Hast thou looked upon my page with glee? Prithee will you take me out on a date? Ahaha nay I jest, too impetuous. Unless thine desire a romp?
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